geographic tongue

I've always known I was special. It's just taken me fifty years to determine why. I had a feeling, but no proof. Like when you're taken by aliens for the evening and wake up with no concrete memory of the event, just the sense that you had been probed the night before.

Anyway, I was visiting my dentist for a checkup and he commented 'Hey, you have a geographic tongue! Did you know that?' I said 'No, but I like the sound of that. Expound!' He went on to explain that it is a very rare, benign condition marked by changing patterns on your tongue - when the fuzzy part stops and there is teeny 'bald' spot. Sometimes the spot is on the side, sometimes both sides, sometimes in the middle, or the tip of the tongue. Isn't that marvelous?! Geographic tongue is described as a psoriasiform mucositis. My literature mentions that the condition has reportedly occurred in up to 3% of the general population in the United States, and in women two times more than men.

I'm thrilled. Really. I was wondering if psoriasiform mucositis was the sole extent of my specialness, or if it were simply an indicator of specialness - a sign. You know, like the mark of the beast, only way nicer. Something that portends a great event: an eventual lottery win or the Tony award for best new musical. Just a thought.